Love? Trust? Hate?

Been quite a long time that I haven't updated this blog. I am quite upset about how things turn out to be at the moment.

Hmm...when you love someone, you would trust him / her - not exactly 100% but at least you trust him / her. But what happens when the trust is betrayed? HATE comes...

Sorry...for the lack of updates. I have been busy with work and I am trying to stabilise my emotions.My 'Al' was left alone - i am just not ready yet for shooting pictures.

There are so many things to do...so I might not be able to do frequent update of my blog. Hopefully after the 27th of this month I will be quite free - to actually do the things I am planing to do...

...life...

It has been a week after my grandma left us. An exhausting week - emotionally exhausted. To this date, I still haven't got the mood to write anything yet though there are some things that I would like to share. Lots of pics to post.

Now...it's just merely work for me... just work and my family-mom and dad plus my siblings. Throughout the last week, I was deep in thoughts - life is so vulnerable - you will never know when it ends.

I hope that I will have the energy and mood to put up new posts and pics.

....

Couldn't think a title for this post. My grandmother has passed away last Monday at about 4.05 am...I am bit busy and I simply don't have the mood to write. Maybe next week my emotions will be okay.

Hectic

Sorry... for the lack of updates. It's been hectic for me. With lots of things to do and to be there for my sick grandma...It saddens me to see her so thin...a drastic change. She was well back in the year 2005, was only diagnosed - cancer in the year 2006.

Doctors had actually wanted to send her to KL / Singapore for treatment but she refused.She said she was too old...plus other health complications.To this date, she lies in bed. I pray for her to get better...She has to take morphine to ease the pain. The cancer which started in her nose has spread quickly. To me...my grandma is really a strong-willed person, as she endures the pain patiently. I hope that she will get better...

Let it be...

Just let it be...like this...as the curtains of lies drawn away...silently left me with despair...unseen tears...unheard cries...dire truth...shrouds me...painful as it is...just let it be...just let it be.

Reminisence - Road to Recovery (Part 1)

Honestly, I am still in my recovery process...How to say this in words??? Emm...after the major accident,nearly all of my memories were lost...yet I was lucky enough that I remembered my dearest family and friends. It was my dear bestfriend,DK, who had helped me a lot...she helped me to recall back...some 'lost' memories. I still remember that I had to ask her... the names of most of my friends...if i bumped into any of them.

Usually...I would ask her.."Who's that? Do I know her/him?"..so DK would tell me the things I need to know...At first, I was totally frustrated...because I couldn't recall much of anything. Just fragments of my memories plus my short-term memory was affected...couldn't remember the slightest thing...(now...my short-term memory greatly improved compared to last year).

I am so glad my family and friends have been around...to help me to recover not only physically but mentally & emotionally...and sometimes, when the memories do come back...My God!It can be painful...totally painful!!! Because I can get confused...as those memories 'flooded' too quickly and then 'gone'.Often...the memories came when I was more relaxed..especially before my slumber.

Accident....

...Oh My God!... Had a minor accident today...luckily no one was hurt. My friend wanted to go out and have lunch. Decided to got Sugar Bun only...Just when she wanted to go into the first left junction...she made a sudden decision to go into the second one - a few metres upfront. Then it happened!!! A car went out of the junction, the driver didn't actually see our car and continued to drive out of the junction.

Thank goodness, my friend only drove at a reasonable speed. I think about 40km/h..yet still couldn't manage to avoid the car - a direct hit to the side of the other's person car.I was slightly jolted forward...and my traumatic experience 'relive' again. I was a bit shaken...my friend was worried about me.She asked me to remain in the car, while she was discussing with the other driver.

Personally, both sides made their mistakes - so agreed not to actually bring the matter to the police. Case was resolved through careful negotiation & consideration.

Finally...had our short - lunch at Sugar Bun. Whew!!!

Devastated

Thought that I could simply skip the visit to hospital tomorrow. Unexpectedly, my blood tests results were not okay. The results showed lots of abnormalities - some unknown traces of ...? What.so.ever. Just when I feel much better - devastating news like this tend to pull me down...I was confident that my blood results would be fine but hey.. I was so... wrong.Talk about the joy of being overconfident.HA! Now, I am thinking of not going tomorrow...well sort of delaying things. May ask the doctor to give me another 'shot' at the blood tests...bla... bla...

I will continue on this post...updates coming in the next few hours...If I am in the mood to do it or maybe to be done in the next few days. Just stay tune (Feels like a talking advert). In the meantime...feasts your eyes with random pictures taken when I was having my lunch at Fratini's Restaurant in BSB.


Bouquet of white and blue roses for my birthday - my heart was totally touched by it. (Did promise that I would post this picture)


At Fratini Restaurant - enjoyed a 'nicelilious - superb' pizza & calamari.


Cozy corner at Fratini's Restaurant - makes me want to stay a bit longer.


Couldn't stop myself from taking another shot.

More to come...

This morning did some gardening and clearing up certain things. Did some cleaning at the backyard...feel a bit tired. The funny thing is that my cats - Oreo@Kocik and Casper keep on following me around. Seemed like they acted like bodyguards...Hehe but they can be annoying at times. As I was doing some replanting of my mom's plants - the two cats just sat or played beside me.

Aha...and tomorrow is Monday, working day. 3 days off - hopefully I will be rejuvenated and be more energetic tomorrow.

Can't post any pics yet... because I am just too lazy right now to bring my camera around...besides my 'AL' is in the hands of my trusted friend...

Maybe will post something later...for the time being...I am in need of some rest because I think I have overdone it a bit this morning. I really don't want to have another few days off ~ right now there is an 'alarm' buzzing in my head.

Painful Memories

Praise to Allah A-Mighty ...Alhamdulillah...the pain eases. Though I have to take painkillers,I decided to skip those-maybe for a few days. I don't want to rely on the 'colourful candies'.

Yesterday on my way to BSB, saw an accident at Sg. Liang area, just a few meters away from the Industrial Park Area. To look at such terrifying sight - reminded me of my own accident.

Back in 2005, on my way to do an official task...was driving along the Lumut Bypass. Speed was about 100 km/h-then I slowed down as I saw an accident - resumed acceleration but a car in front of me decided to make a sudden stop - guess the driver didn't realise that my car was behind. I swerved to the right - just to avoid the car - nearly crashed onto the railings - swerved to left - nearly landed into the swamps - steered back to the right - then my car lost its stability - had the feeling that my car was going to overturn - I lost consciousness - woke up realised I was on the road - someone helped me - put 'something' above my left eye - I knew I was hurt- couldn't open my left eye.

People helped me - asked me to be at the roadside while waiting for help - a person decided to bring me to the nearest clinic - as the ambulance was a bit late - I was rushed to Sg.Liang Clinic and then to Lumut - then was sent to KB hospital.

While in the ambulance - felt so calm - couldn't feel any pain at all - but I was so sleepy - couldn't manage to stay awake - the paramedics continuously asked me to stay conscious by lightly tapping my face.

Arrived at ER - doctors & staff were ready - I was hurt all over - I put on the best smile on my face & told my mom I was okay - didn't want her to worry - saw my family , friends.

In Er - felt tremendous pain in my left foot - doctors & nurses were doing their best - I tried to stay awake but I passed out a few times - doctors told that they had to do several stitches - 3 on my right fingers, 4 on my right elbow, 3/4 on left forehead, 1 on right side of my nose - plus I was nearly showered with saline solution - the pain of the 'salt'.

I remembered that the nurses swabbed both my legs with saline at first but then they decided to just simply squirt the saline solution - the pain was too much - heard them murmuring - the outer skin of my upper legs were scraped off due to the tarmac - I was shivering in the ER - doctors said that I might be going in the shock state - quickly patched me up - sent me for X-Rays - numerous X-rays were done -head, chest, elbows, legs - all parts of my body - results were okay.

Admitted to ward - I was like a mummy - bandages here and there. Both my legs, every finger, elbows, part of my head were covered with bandages - my face was swollen - I even made a joke - I won a boxing match - just to relieve my family and friends' worries - my left eye couldn't be opened properly - was red in colour - doctor said there was an internal injury/bleeding in my left eye but no major damage.

One of the witnesses - my 4x4WD car overturned six times. The last one - was the worst. Police officers - I was thrown out about 10 meters from my car. My car was badly damaged - a wreck!!!

Doctors, police, eyewitnesses - thought I was a goner - They were pretty sure I wasn't able to survive the accident - so when I was in ER there were some mistakes (I guessed the paramedics, emergency staff were panicked!!!) - I wasn't given any neck support throughout my trip to KB hospital even in ER - I wasn't placed on a slide stretcher.. But anyway..I still survive that tragic accident. Months of physiotherapy - saw different specialists...nearly given up hope...but family n friends were there for me...they have helped me throughout the painful times. Thank you for all the support...without you...I would have given up...the will to live.

In My Blues...Part 2

...really don't know what to write here as more 'agonizing' news came and really cause further frustrations. My depressing days continue...

I wanted to go to Rempayoh tomorrow but due to my 'condition', it is best that I just stay at home and rest. I don't want to create a major scene there.

Maybe if I am lucky enough, I might go to the 3rd Batallion - capture a few pics and then rush to Rempayoh. Again these are just tentative.

For now, I still rely on painkillers to ease the pain in my head. These aren't the normal panadols as panadols are like candies for my body. I've been given numerous painkillers ~ the one I am taking right now is working pretty well. I pray that the pain in my head will 'end'.

In My Blues

Today ~ everything seems not okay for me. My head is still aching...My grandma is sick ~ now she is in the hospital. She is suffering from cancer. My kitten died...it was sick.Really a depressing day for me...

I wish I could go away for a while but the pain in my head is really bothering me. I have to rely on the painkillers to relieve the pain. The results for my blood test should be out next week. Another few days of agony!!!

More Surprises ..?

Well.., couldn't believe that this is happening.Friends at the office teamed up to extend another birthday celebration for me. Unfortunately I wasn't around. Too bad, I had to be in the hospital. Got my X-Ray done, results turned out to be okay. But my head is still aching like a time-bomb has been planted in it.

Anyway, tomorrow, another day at the hospital. Doctor asked me to have my blood test. I can't go through this anymore. Well, to rule out certain things ~ that's what she said. After that I then have to be referred to the Physician Clinic. Hopefully no more CT Scan for me.

For now, I will relax...have to. At 8.00pm, I have to fast. By the way, yesterday I had a bouquet of roses. Love it so much... again for my birthday. Will upload the pics on this. I had two blue roses, 6 white roses & 6 chocolates in my bouquet.Hehe. With a little creativity...things will turn out the way you want it to be.

Thanks to all the friends for making this year's birthday a memorable one for me.

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION -SURPRISE (2)

Well...today(25)is actually the big day for me.A new dawn has arrived!!!Honestly,I don't really think too much about my birthday.Just after midnight,my mobile was swarmed with messages - the birthday wishes.

Then, I realised about my life.I may not be rich but I do have family who loves me, friends who care about me and importantly the blessings from Allah Al-Mighty.Though there are times when things do go wrong, but then I have my family to support me through those difficult times, friends who whisper words of encouragement and tons of 'sweet' messages - made me appreciate life more. Be thankful for everything. Alhamdulillah...I wouldn't be here without Allah's Blessings. Alhamdulillah...

Anyway...after the surprise party held at the office, I wanted to go home but my dear friend of mine dragged me to BSB.So, I tagged along...went to friend's shop and then off we went to RBC to have our stomachs fed. Since I wasn't in any mood to eat... I opted for 'Nasi Goreng' with Grilled Chicken...Yummy. Well he went for the buffet.Wah...


This is my food...looks yummy but then my taste buds didn't really work well yesterday.


My orange juice - 'sigh..'I couldn't finish this as well - drank just a quarter of it and gave it to him.Opps!!! hopefully I didn't spread any virus.Hehe.


Part of the food from the Buffet.


ABC - his favourite ~ that's what he claimed. *Tsk..tsk..* I think everything is his favourite ~ lols.


The Island of Food.

Well..I thought the surprise was already over. Just when I had finished my food...the RBC Staff sang a birthday song. At first I didn't bother about it but the sound came closer. WHAT!!! Another one??? Trying to give me a heart attack kah...Hehe The surprises were a bit too much...yeah...I enjoyed it though!!!


My Second - Tiny Weeny Cake...hehe LOVE IT! RBC STAFF ...two thumbs up for the surprise and the song. Thanks...


Haven't managed to taste my cake. Decided to bundle it up to be brought home.


Love this place - it has nice ambiance.


Wish I have a dinning place like this.


Hmm...D' Master Mind behind all the surprises...Thank you so much. I appreciated for what you have done.

To end the joyous day...went to Jerudong and enjoyed a 5-10 minutes 'near' sunset. Actually went there to buy stuff. Hehe. Had a really nice day yesterday...nearly made me cry.Thanks guys for everything and a special thanks to you...Prince.

Birthday Celebration - SURPRISE

Well...today was really surprising!!! Never thought that the my lovely friends actually held a surprise party for me.Wehh...a bit scary. I was busy doing my stuff and all of a sudden my boss, second boss were in the office. Then... the cake came with a birthday song. Hehe...!!!Actually didn't know what to say. Well, I wasn't in any mood celebrating my birthday because I was sick. BUT...I really enjoyed the party.


My half-eaten cake - Sasuke was in the cake. Just love the Sasuke Design - so left it like that.


Just look at those cherries. Aren't they so 'sweet...& tender?'

Will upload more pics soon...I am so tired right now. Still feel so sick.

A busy day

Today is pretty much a busy day for me. Yesterday, had my day off ~ unexpectedly. I was really sick. Woke up at around 3.00am, because the pain was just too much. I couldn't even sleep...In the end, I had to sit and sleep.

Now, I am trying to finish off my work. Have to get things done by today. Haven't manage to really do some major revamps of this blog. Still need some 'tweaking'. Will try to upload more pictures soon.

Just Doing Some Tweaking

Welcome...to my new site.
I still have a lot of things to do!I will just post a few pics here for you to enjoy. Pictures taken using my Sony Alpha 200.


Wish I have a real car like that!!!


Hello...Squirt!!!